POOR MR.SEIDENBERG !

9 Sep 2010

POOR MR.SEIDENBERG !

He got only $ 820 for every employee he laid off !

Absolutely unfair compared to Robert Iger who earned $ 6346 for every worker he sacked.

Here are the details, as reported in DNA Money/Sept. 02, 2010:

If good old U.S. of A. wants to come out of double-dip recession, it should start rewarding their CEOs  $ 10,000 for every job they ” created ” .

It is about time Wall Street / CEOs / Shareholders started thinking long terms.

With regards

HEMEN PAREKH

UNITED STATES OF UNEMPLOYED ?

8 Sep 2010

UNITED STATES OF UNEMPLOYED ?

The naming convention for newborns in the tiny village of Gunalli ( Karnataka / India ) is

·           Male child………………..GyanAppa

·           Female child…………… GyanAvva

But what if you 2 male children ?

Simple.

Call the elder one ………………Dodda  GyanAppa

Call the younger…………………Chikka  GyanAppa

That forces you to avoid a third male child !

Parents around the world have started calling their grown-up

Male child……………………………Laid-off  Larry

Female child……………………… Jobless   Jane

If all the unemployed of the world were to gather in one place, that would become the largest nation on the earth-

“  United States of Unemployed  “

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY ? CHARITY OR JOBS ?

4 Sep 2010

WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY ? CHARITY OR JOBS ?

At the Business Leadership Award function in Mumbai ( Sept o2, 2010 ), India’s richest industrialist Mukesh Ambani was asked how much of his huge wealth does he plan to give away to charity ( ala Bill Gates , Warren Buffet etc. ).

Here is how Mukesh replied (approximately):

“India’s problems are different from those of developed world. India is adding 12 / 15 million people to its workforce every year. Rather than give away to charities, India’s rich should use that wealth to create jobs.

12 / 15 million jobs, year-after-year, for next 25 years .”

No wonder, unemployed jobseekers in India are cheering Mukesh!

They don’t want charity. They want jobs.

And by inducting Mukesh in its Board, World Economic Forum seems to endorse his views.

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

WHAT IS YOUR RECORD ?

3 Sep 2010

WHAT IS YOUR RECORD ?

In India, junior civil judge, JVV Satyanarayanan Murthy set a record of delivering 111 judgments on Aug. 23, 2010.

Within 2 days ( Aug.25 ), Sessions Judge A.K.Shori broke that record by delivering 148 judgments in one day.

But, at the current rate of disposal, it will take Indian Judiciary 300 years to dispose off 30 million pending cases !

Jobseekers are inspired.

Unmindful of the capacity of recruiters to dispose off resumes, unemployed around the world are blasting millions of resumes everyday. Sensible, considering current rate of joblessness.

Only no jobseeker wants to claim first place in Guinness Book of Records !

Understandable.

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

TOO YOUNG TO ADVISE ?

2 Sep 2010

TOO YOUNG TO ADVISE ?

                                                

With a budget deficit of British Pound 170.8 billion, British Chancellor of Exchequer, George Osborne is a very worried man.

Many people are giving him many suggestions. That includes 7 years old Oscar Selby of Epsom ( Surrey ), who advises:

• Cut taxpayer funding to the banks

• Get banks to pay back cash they have borrowed

• Spend more on care for the elderly & on natural disasters

• Make some more places to go to work. Just any jobs. Jobs the country needs.

Britain’s 2.4 million unemployed would heartily endorse the last suggestion. Most of them are more worried about the future of their own 7 year olds than about the budget deficit – which is a common worry for jobless all over the world.

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

WATCH YOUR CLOTHES !

1 Sep 2010

WATCH YOUR CLOTHES !

As reported in Daily Mail ( Aug.2010 ), here are findings of a survey of 2,000 employers, commissioned by TK Maxx ( a clothing store ) :

·           65 % claim, clothing could be the deciding factor if two candidates are neck and neck in other areas

·           For women, being dressed in a tight top or showing cleavage can nix chances at the job interview

·           Wearing a black bra underneath a white top is the next biggest dress-code mistake

·           When men turn up in a badly ironed shirt or a high-waist trousers, they are bound to ruin their chances of getting a job

Kieran How of Eden Brown ( a recruitment firm ) says :

“ Job interviews are not the place to try fancy dress or to show off your most revealing party clothes “.

Unemployed should never forget that recruiters have a positive bias for candidates who dress like them !

With regards

HEMEN   PAREKH

GENDER EQUALITY : REALITY OR MIRAGE ?

27 Aug 2010

GENDER EQUALITY : REALITY OR MIRAGE ?

A salary survey conducted in Aug.2010, by Chartered Management Institute ( Britain ) of 43,312 employees in 197 organizations found :

·                 Average salary for a male manager stood at British    Pound 10,071 more than that of a female boss

·                At the current rate of wage inflation, it will take some 57 years before this inequality is bridged.

What would Chartered Management Institute find if it were to conduct a “ Job Performance Survey “ of male and female bosses?

Hemen  Parekh

DO NOT BLAME JOBSEEKERS ONLY!

26 Aug 2010

DO NOT BLAME JOBSEEKERS ONLY!

A survey ( Aug. 2010 ) of 2,000 people by Chartered Insurance Institute ( Britain ), revealed following :

·              Average British tells a lie 657 times a year.

·              For this dishonesty, he / she blames the bankers and the members of Parliament.

·              80 % of those surveyed, admitted that chronic lying has become a part of their daily life.

·              90 % of those surveyed, blamed internet and mobile phones for facilitating lying.

So, why single out 4.5 million British unemployed jobseekers for dressing-up their resumes a little bit ?

Around the world, desperate jobless are doing the same !

  

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED ARE NOT FLYING ANYWHERE !

25 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED ARE NOT FLYING ANYWHERE !

Makato Watanabe and Marc Moller ( Japanese Economists ) have come up with the following formula to enable you to book the cheapest holiday flight :

A  =  gUG + min { ( k-g ) ( 1-g ) ( 1-r ) }

Translated in plain English :

“ Buy tickets exactly eight weeks in advance and book in the afternoon “

But unemployed jobseekers are on a perpetual holiday – at home.

They are not flying anywhere !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

RUBIK CUBE

24 Aug 2010

RUBIK CUBE

                     Jobseekers , persistence pays !

Rubik Cube ( invented by Hungarian Prof. Erno Rubik ) sold 350 million pieces in 34 years since its invention in 1974.

With 9 colored squares on each side, how many unique permutations can you make with a Rubik cube?

Ans :    43,252,003,274,489,856,000

And in how many "moves" can you make all those permutations ?

Google researchers used their powerful computers to come-up with answer :

20    moves

Why can't they figure out ?

·     how many interviews an unemployed will need to attend before getting first job offer ?

·     how many resumes will need be sent to get first interview-call ?

with regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

UNEMPLOYMENT : AN UNSOLVED RIDDLE !

21 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYMENT : AN UNSOLVED RIDDLE !

Vinay Deolalikar, who works at the research arm of Hewlett-Packard in Palo Alto, California, believes he has solved the math's riddle of

                              P  Vs.  NP
Where

P refers to problems whose solutions are easy to find and verify

NP refers to problems whose solutions are almost impossible to find but easy to verify

But around the world, jobseekers are struggling to solve the riddle of

                             JS  >( greater than ) JV
Where

JS refers to unemployed jobseekers

JV refers to available job vacancies

Is joblessness an economic riddle or a social riddle ?

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

19 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

Mumbai Mirror ( Aug. 11, 2010 ) reports :

Want a one year-long working holiday visa for Adelaide (South Australia) ?

You can, provided you are willing to

·        Collect Kangaroo dung

·        Catch Koala bears

·        Tag sharks

·        Remodel penguin homes

·        Judge beach babes competition

Officials from South Australia are touring Britain to get 18 to 30-year-olds to apply for working holiday visas.

UK, with just 1/4th the size of South Australia and 4.5 million unemployed (roughly 3 times the entire population of South Australia), should have thousands of takers for judging beach babes !

Jobseekers, make sure your resume lists all the babes you have judged in the past ! Only don't show it to your girlfriend / wife !

  

Hemen  Parekh

GLOBAL WARNING ?

18 Aug 2010

Who is to be blamed for global warming ?

An income / expenditure survey of 63,000 Indian households ( selected from an initial listing of 450,000 households ) found :

·         45 % of the Indian population earn less than Rs.20 per day ( less than US $ 0.50 )

That is nearly 500 million people !

If they cut down trees for firewood to cook their 4 teaspoons of rice , could you blame them for global warming ?

[ source : Interview with Rajesh Shukla – author : How India Earns, Spends and Saves : Times of India / Aug 11,2010 ]

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

16 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

Here is a new set of questions being asked these days, to employees who resign :

·       What could have been done to prevent the situation which led you to leave ?

·       What extra responsibility would you have welcomed that you were not given ?

·       If you are the head, then what are the top 5 priority changes that you would like to change ?

·       How this organization should be restructured according to you ?

·       Do you think you would have performed in a rival firm ?

Will HR Managers list the exit interview questions they ask when they sack / layoff / retrench employees ?  Do these include :

·       How do you plan to feed your wife / kids ?

·       Once you are evicted from your apartment ( for not paying rent ),which pavement do you plan to sleep on ?

·       In front of which soup-kitchen do you plan to queue-up ?

·       From which flea-market will you shoplift " used " clothes ?

Thank god there are no exit interviews for sacked employees ! They would have no answers !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

13 Aug 2010

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

Thank you for submitting your resume on our site

www.CustomizeResume.com

(Do share your discovery with your friends. They will thank you !)

While you are waiting for some Recruiter to search your

 Resume on our site, how about being  PRO-ACTIVE  and

Blast  Your  Resume   ?

Not because it is FREE.

But because we deliver your resume to :

·           30,400 Companies in  20  countries

·           5,674  Recruitment Agencies in  14  countries

And you can blast it in stages, over a period of days / weeks / months.

Every time you return for blasting, we will show you

·           to whom you have blasted so far

·           when did you blast ( date )

   

so, no risk of duplication / embarrassment  !

I wish you Good Luck .

Hemen Parekh