“ Motivated “ in your resume? Don’t even say !

In your resume, if you write that you are “ motivated “, you are not alone.

In his profile, every jobseeker writes that he is motivated.

Since LinkedIn has profiles of over 85 million members, it was able to compile the following list of the most used / overused / abused words:

Ø   Motivated

Ø   Extensive experience

Ø   Innovative

Ø   Proven track record

Ø   Dynamic

Ø   Team player

Ø   Proactive

Ø   Entrepreneurial

Ø   Skill set

Ø   Problem solver

Spokesman of LinkedIn offers following advice to jobseekers ( jobless or even currently employed ) :

“ These phrases can appear empty to potential employer and may do more harm than good when you include them in your profile or resume. If you’re using any of these ten terms, wipe them out “.

In the meantime, recruiters are waiting for a software which will automatically reject any resume that contains more than 2 of these words !

With regards

hemen  parekh

www.CustomizeResume.com

Jobs  for  All  =  Peace  on  Earth

PROMOTE TO MS

2 Nov 2010

PROMOTE TO MS

No one knows following scenario better than you:

Indicator	Sept. 2003	Sept. 2009	Sept. 2010
ARPU (Rs / Month)	516	185	122
SMS / User / Month.	GPRS	28	40
	CDMA	11	13

For your circle, would you like to raise SMS / User / Month to, say, 100?

I can help you achieve just that by offering a VAS / Content that your subscribers cannot resist.

And I offer this VAS / Content absolutely FREE !

In case of interest, feel free to phone me on (M) 98 67 55 08 08 (Mumbai) / ( O ) 67070360 or write to me.

Hemen Parekh

JOB ALERT ON MOBILE -- JAM

1 Nov 2010

JOB  ALERT  ON  MOBILE --  JAM

Do you want – and absolutely FREE too ,

Daily job alerts on your mobile ?

Apply for jobs directly from your mobile ?

Access / view your “ My Job Alert “ page on our website, even from a low-end ( $ 20 ) / non-GPRS mobile ?

All you need to do is , send  SMS

jam(space)alert …….to……..9756510001

Experience the life-simplifying power of Tasklet Technology developed by HP Labs – India. Let jobs come searching for you !

Hemen  Parekh

ENGLISH LANGUAGE AS A “ GODDESS “ ?

To worship the “ Goddess “ of English language, citizens of village Banka ( Lakhimpur-Kheri district ), in a remote region of India, have contributed to build a temple for the “ Goddess “ of English language and installed a 3 feet tall statue of the “ Goddess “ !

And this is no ordinary Goddess !

Inspired by the Statue of Liberty, the idol is in the shape of a computer holding a pen, a copy of the Indian Constitution and donning a gown and a hat !

Then adorned the temple walls with symbols / notations / equations of Physics / Chemistry / Mathematics and idioms – proverbs of English language.

Poor villagers of Banka are convinced that they have remained backwards due to their lack of knowledge of English language. No one is ready to even interview them !

They do not want to join the ranks of 38 million unemployed Indian graduates who have registered on 900 + State Employment Exchanges.

Who knows, English could well prove to be a “ Goddess that delivers“!

  

Hemen  Parekh

FARMERS COMMITTING SUICIDES

Farmers in Vidarbha ( Maharashtra / India ) have been committing suicides by the hundreds over the last few years – 42 / day , as per one estimate ( 250,000 in last 16 years ! )

Reason ?

They have no money to repay the loans that they have taken from the banks

( Silly ! Politicians and Businessmen – whether Indian or European – never repay their loans ! Nor commit suicide ! )

Why don’t farmers have money  ?

Because there is no water to grow their crops

Why there is no water  ?

Because there are no dams to hold the water

Why there are no dams ?

Because corrupt Government officials and contractors just don’t want to complete the construction of dams !

Times of India ( 08 June, 2012 ) reports following figures for the number of years by which some of the dam projects have got delayed,

Ø  Warna Irrigation………………………… 45  years

Ø  Chaskamam………………………………. 38  years

Ø  Kadavi……………………………………….. 35  years

Ø  Chikotra…………………………………….. 35  years

Ø  Patgaon……………………………………….34  years

No wonder project costs have gone up by 2,000 %  to  7,000 % !

In the meantime , for the last few months ,the only “ Life or Death “ matter that has occupied the minds of our politicians is ,

“ Who should be our next President ? “

How long will Mother India continue to cry ?

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED BRITISH YOUTH

7 Oct 2010

UNEMPLOYED BRITISH YOUTH

As per DNA ( Sept.20,2010 ), British cabinet minister Vince Cable has stirred controversy by suggesting that unemployed young Britons should be sent to India to find work.

According to the minister, it was time to end the one-way flow of skilled workers from India to the UK and claimed that British graduates should be able to go in the opposite direction to India where the economy has boomed.

Good idea !

And since Google India just announced that it will pay Rs. 100,000 by way of referral fees to anyone who recommends a software engineer ( subject to employment offer from Google and joining ), this opens up another opportunity to Vince Cable.

By recommending British software guys to Google India, he can earn their gratitude ( and votes ? ) while simultaneously helping to reduce the budget deficit of Pounds 170.8 billions.

Hurry up. Google offer expires on Oct.15, 2010 !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

THERE IS NO DEARTH OF COMMON-WEALTH!

India will spend Rs. 70,000 crores ( $ 17 billion ) on current Commonwealth Games ( Oct.3-14, 2010 ).

Games Organizing Committee ( OC ) claims that the games will create 2.47 million jobs. A beginning has been made by employing some 36 relatives.

But as of May 2010, some 38 million young Indians are waiting for jobs, having registered with 900 + State Employment Exchanges.

To give jobs to all of them, all we have to do is to sanction to the OC, a provisional expenditure of Rs. 1,076,000 crores ( $ 262 billion ) - with a stipulation that the actual figure after 5 years must not exceed the provisional figure by more than 10 times.

They will lose no time by hiring forthwith, additional 540 far-flung cousins / nephews etc.

In India, cousins / nephews have never remained jobless !

Hemen  Parekh

A HIGH-SKILLED BONDAGE ?

5 Oct 2010

A HIGH-SKILLED BONDAGE ?

In his book “ Which way’s up ? “, Tory MP Nicholas Boles suggests that , before granting of immigration visas, migrants to UK should be required to furnish a security bond worth Pounds 5,000 for use of “ public services “.

Then he goes on to recommend that the bond amount be refunded to the migrant as soon as he has paid to the Government, taxes exceeding “ many times “ the bond amount.

Now considering that the British Government plans to admit no more than 24,100 highly-skilled immigrants per year, the British Treasury would get richer by 120 million Pounds.

It is another matter that the “bond income “will not make much of a dent to the British budget deficit of Pounds 170.8 billion!

Someone may come forward and suggest that every single 5.4 million immigrant to UK (UN Report of 2005), should be asked to furnish a 5000 Pound bond.

That would add 27 billion Pounds at one stroke!

Hemen  Parekh

TWICE THE JOBS AT HALF THE SALARY ?

4 Oct 2010

TWICE THE JOBS AT HALF THE SALARY ?

  

Earlier in 2010, State Bank of India ( SBI ) advertised for 27,000 clerical job vacancies.

Some 2,800,000 candidates appeared for a written exam.

Amongst those who got selected were 4,000 graduate / post-graduate engineers.

Not surprising considering that India produces 500,000 engineering graduates every year [ including 150,000 software engineers ].

Their median starting salary would be approx. $ 1 per hour – about the same what I pay 2 software engineers who are developing my website for past one year.

Should SBI have created 54,000 jobs by paying $ 0.50 per hour ?

Ask any of the 38 million jobless Indian graduates who have registered at 900 + State Employment Exchanges.

The last registered must wait 126 years to get his job-offer !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH