UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

19 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

Mumbai Mirror ( Aug. 11, 2010 ) reports :

Want a one year-long working holiday visa for Adelaide (South Australia) ?

You can, provided you are willing to

·        Collect Kangaroo dung

·        Catch Koala bears

·        Tag sharks

·        Remodel penguin homes

·        Judge beach babes competition

Officials from South Australia are touring Britain to get 18 to 30-year-olds to apply for working holiday visas.

UK, with just 1/4th the size of South Australia and 4.5 million unemployed (roughly 3 times the entire population of South Australia), should have thousands of takers for judging beach babes !

Jobseekers, make sure your resume lists all the babes you have judged in the past ! Only don't show it to your girlfriend / wife !

  

Hemen  Parekh

GLOBAL WARNING ?

18 Aug 2010

Who is to be blamed for global warming ?

An income / expenditure survey of 63,000 Indian households ( selected from an initial listing of 450,000 households ) found :

·         45 % of the Indian population earn less than Rs.20 per day ( less than US $ 0.50 )

That is nearly 500 million people !

If they cut down trees for firewood to cook their 4 teaspoons of rice , could you blame them for global warming ?

[ source : Interview with Rajesh Shukla – author : How India Earns, Spends and Saves : Times of India / Aug 11,2010 ]

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

16 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

Here is a new set of questions being asked these days, to employees who resign :

·       What could have been done to prevent the situation which led you to leave ?

·       What extra responsibility would you have welcomed that you were not given ?

·       If you are the head, then what are the top 5 priority changes that you would like to change ?

·       How this organization should be restructured according to you ?

·       Do you think you would have performed in a rival firm ?

Will HR Managers list the exit interview questions they ask when they sack / layoff / retrench employees ?  Do these include :

·       How do you plan to feed your wife / kids ?

·       Once you are evicted from your apartment ( for not paying rent ),which pavement do you plan to sleep on ?

·       In front of which soup-kitchen do you plan to queue-up ?

·       From which flea-market will you shoplift " used " clothes ?

Thank god there are no exit interviews for sacked employees ! They would have no answers !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

13 Aug 2010

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

Thank you for submitting your resume on our site

www.CustomizeResume.com

(Do share your discovery with your friends. They will thank you !)

While you are waiting for some Recruiter to search your

 Resume on our site, how about being  PRO-ACTIVE  and

Blast  Your  Resume   ?

Not because it is FREE.

But because we deliver your resume to :

·           30,400 Companies in  20  countries

·           5,674  Recruitment Agencies in  14  countries

And you can blast it in stages, over a period of days / weeks / months.

Every time you return for blasting, we will show you

·           to whom you have blasted so far

·           when did you blast ( date )

   

so, no risk of duplication / embarrassment  !

I wish you Good Luck .

Hemen Parekh

UNEMPLOYED WATCH-OUT!

10 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED WATCH-OUT!

Times OF India (Aug. 05, 2010) reports:

Reuters / Ipsol poll on " business attire ", conducted amongst  12,500 executives in 24 countries, found:

How many wear smart dresses to work?

INDIANS TOP SMART POLL

But this is when you already have a job !

My advice to jobseekers everywhere, about to appear for a job-interview:

“Just don’t take a risk. Dress your best. Look smarter than all other applicants waiting to be interviewed. It will boost your confidence. Everything else being equal between two finalists, the better dressed candidate will walk away with a job offer !”

Hemen Parekh

JOBSEEKERS ARE CLUELESS!

7 Aug 2010

JOBSEEKERS ARE CLUELESS!

Times of India (July 20, 2010) reports:

·             In Germany, resumes generally include a photograph and information considered taboo for employers in many countries, such as, date of birth, marital status and nationality.

·             A 2010 study by the private Bonn-based Institute for the Study of Labor showed rampant bias in hiring.

·             This prompted the German Anti-Discrimination Agency to sponsor a voluntary program under which company recruiters will process only "Blind" resumes that remove any reference to ethnic background or other personal information irrelevant to job performance.

·             Procter and Gamble and L'Oreal who have joined this program say the idea is to show to other recruiters what they were sacrificing with their prejudices.

No doubt a welcome beginning, but the unemployed around the world just do not want to risk their resumes getting summarily rejected because these contain "insufficient" information!

As long as job advertisements fail to clearly spell-out what information is "relevant" and what is "taboo", jobseekers around the world would continue to err on the safe side! If employers continue to remain “ vague “- on purpose – they run the risk of being “legislated “!

Hemen  Parekh

PERFECT HANDSHAKE

30 July 2010

PERFECT HANDSHAKE

Jobseekers take note!

According to Geoffery Battie, Head of Psychology Sciences, at University of Manchester, the formula for a perfect handshake is:

PH =

    ? ( e2+ve2 )( d2 ) + ( cg + dr ) 2 + ? { ( 4 less than s greater than 2 )( 4 less than p greater than 2 ) } 2    

    +(vi+t+te ) 2 + { ( 4 less than e greater than 2 ) ( 4 less than du greater than 2 ) } 2

He could have simply said:

• Recruiters just don’t like

• Sweaty palms

• Limp wrists

• Gripping too hard

• Lack of eye-contact

According to him, the perfect handshake formula ( before and after the interview ) for impressing HR Managers  comprises

·     Cool dry palms

·     Complete grip

·     Firm squeeze

·     Medium vigor

·     Right hand

·     No longer than 3 seconds

In these days of rampant unemployment and rare interview calls, jobseekers cannot afford to overlook any tip!

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

Jobseekers take note!

According to Geoffery Battie, Head of Psychology Sciences, at University of Manchester, the formula for a perfect handshake is:
PH =
? ( e2+ve2 )( d2 ) + ( cg + dr ) 2 + ? { ( 42 )( 42 ) } 2
+(vi+t+te ) 2 + { ( 42 ) ( 42 ) } 2
He could have simply said:
Recruiters just don’t like
 Sweaty palms
 Limp wrists
 Gripping too hard
 Lack of eye-contact
According to him, the perfect handshake formula ( before and after the interview ) for impressing HR Managers comprises
 Cool dry palms
 Complete grip
 Firm squeeze
 Medium vigor
 Right hand
 No longer than 3 seconds
In these days of rampant unemployment and rare interview calls, jobseekers cannot afford to overlook any tip!
With regards
hemen parekh

EQUALITY

20 July 2010

EQUALITY

Unemployed Girls, Beware !

Here are some findings of Pew Research Center’s Global Attitude Project ( in association with the International Herald Tribune – July 2010 ) :

·             There is a pronounced gap between a belief in the equality of the sexes and how that translates into reality.

·             In China, India, Indonesia and Jordan, equal-rights supporters think, most of the adjustments necessary to establish equality have already been made.

·             In nations ( Europe / USA ) where equal rights are already mandated, women seem stymied by a lack of real progress.

·             More than 50% in 10 of 22 countries said that when jobs are scarce, they should go to men.

Surely they have not read the survey conducted by Psychology Professor Keith Laws ( University of Hertfordshire ), which found that  girls are better than boys when it comes to multi-tasking !

May be my 2 unemployed grand-daughters have still some hope !

Hemen  Parekh

HAPPY

16 July 2010

HAPPY

A British Survey of employed people (July 2010) found :

•  People earning  50,000  Pounds annually were “ happy “ with life overall

•  People earning  70,000  Pounds annually were “ less than happy “ with their lot !

Will someone survey and answer :

How happy is a person who has been unemployed / jobless for over 2 years and who suddenly gets a job–offer of  7,000 Pounds ?

With 70,000 pounds, can we make 10 jobseekers ecstatic ?

With 70,000 pounds, by how much can we raise the “ Sum-Total “ of happiness in the world ?

Ask unemployed.

Hemen  Parekh