48 hours to NaMo

In another 48 hours , exit polls will become obsolete when election results start pouring in

And as the sun rises in the sky on 16th May , usual games will play-out on TV channels

*   CLAIM  GAME

   In this game , the main players will be the leaders of BJP and its pre-poll allies

All of these leaders will claim personal credit for BJP's victory - without appearing to offend the Great NaMo  !

They will tell the TV anchors  :

There never was any doubt that we will win

We had told you so , all along

NaMo wave was unstoppable

People were fed up of UPA's failures

This is the beginning of the end of the Dynasty Rule

We will not be vindictive ( - except in case of RSVP  !  )

We gracefully accept the mandate given to us by people to bring in Good Governance

People want Gujarat Model replicated all over India and we will do it

*    BLAME  GAME

    This game will be played by leaders of Congress and its UPA allies

They will try to hide their faces on TV channels ( - now I understand why police cover up the faces of alleged culprits ! )

But if caught unaware by those intrepid roving journalists / cameramen , they will mumble in inaudible voices  :

We humbly accept the verdict of the people

We honour their wishes ( though much against our wishes  !  )

We will play the role of a responsible opposition ( - but make no mistakes , at every small opportunity , we promise to disrupt the working of the Lok Sabha , better than what BJP ever managed  )

RSVP had nothing to do with our defeat

Our Working Committee / Parliamentary Board will examine the reasons why people dumped us ( - and find some scapegoats ! )

After all , we have been playing this game for over 65 years and know too well that you cannot fool all the people all the time  !

You win some , you lose some

We will emerge stronger by 2019  "

*   AIM  GAME

   This game will be played out by the Third Front political leaders whose only " Aim " was to remain " Relevant " in the Lok Sabha  !

These leaders will be saying  :

As a Third ( rate ? ) Front , we have emerged stronger

So what , if we cannot form the Government  ?

We cannot even agree on who is our Prime Ministerial candidate !

But can't you see that we are M-powered  ? ( Maya / Mamta / Mulayam ) - with 3 potential PMs  ?

As always , we will continue to provide NaMo , our " Issue - based " support  ( - the only issues  being , withdrawal of all scam-related cases / disproportionate assts cases  / CBI investigations,

etc , against our Behenji / Didiji / Netaji  )

And of course , grant of " Special Status " to W.Bengal / Bihar / UP / Tamil Nadu / Odisha / Seemandhra  etc

 

On 16th , switch on your TVs to witness the  " Grand  Finale  " !

*  hemen  parekh  ( 14 May 2014 / Mumbai )

The Die is cast

With only 41 seats of Lok Sabha remaining to be voted upon tomorrow , the die is cast

Outcome of those 41 seats is unlikely to make much of a difference to who will form the next Government at the Centre

If BJP falls short of 272 seats , " Aya Ram , Gaya Ram " horse-trading will settle the issue

But what will send a loud and clear message across India is ,

"  Who wins in Varanasi  ? "

It is no more a question of Congress vs BJP

Or , a question of David vs Goliath

It is no more a question of choosing between , lesser of the two evils

Even if AAP has made a few honest mistakes and occasionally , compromised on lofty principles , for the first time , people of Varanasi have a choice

To choose between the least of the THREE EVILS  !

 There are no ABSOLUTE standards by which to judge political parties

There are only RELATIVE standards - and , even these keep shifting

If you think , some of the AAP members - and even , some of its leaders - are susceptible to making immoral compromises , you are entitled to your opinion - which is your right

And Arvind Kejriwal would be the first person to defend your right

Let us ask ourselves ,

"  Who is the Least Corrupt of the three  ?

   Who do I deserve  ?

   Who is likely to resign if he cannot fulfill his poll-promises  ?  "

BJP came into power in Gujarat on 26 Dec 2012 , by promising :

" If voted to power , we will construct 50 lakh houses for the poor in next 5 years "

In the 500 days since BJP came to power , Gujarat Government should have built , and distributed , 13,69,863  homes

To find the truth , file a RTI application - without expecting any answer  !

Of course , by 20th May , expect NaMo to resign as Gujarat CM

Not for having failed to fulfill his promise to people of Gujarat

But , to fulfill his poll-promise to people of India , that , if voted to power , BJP will construct 100 Mega-Cities in next 5 years

That is one Chandigarh or Gandhi-Nagar , every 18 days  !

Hopefully , P C Sorkar ( jr ) will help out with a Mirage

  !

*   hemen  parekh ( 11 May 2014 / Mumbai )

Marriage Season is upon Us !

Election Commission will announce the results of Lok Sabha elections on 16th May

And , declare open the Marriage Season

Marriages of convenience - no doubt  !

Both , NDA and UPA will fall short of absolute majority , by 50 - 100 seats

Floor Managers and Business Brokers will swing into action to weave a complex web of Mergers and Acquisitions ( M & A  )

Independent candidates will offer themselves for Rs 50 Crores

(  Remember the movie , " Dulhaa  Beekta  Hain "  ?  )

Party offices of smaller parties will carry the banners ,

"  Sale  !  Sale  !  

{  Except that this is not , a  " Going out of Business "  sale

It is a ,  " Getting into Business "   sale  !  },

We are selling honesty , integrity , honour , conscience , morals , ethics , self-respect , party-name  etc . You name it - we got it  !

Here are our going " Market Rates " :

* For 10 seat support................. 2 seats of  Minister of State

* For 20 seat support ...............  2 seats of  Cabinet Minister

* For 30 seat support ..............   Minister of Industry + Minister of Trade "

Yesterday's sworn enemies ( who wanted to dispatch you to Pakistan or jump into Indian ocean ) , will suddenly become " Bosom Friends "

" Enemy of enemy " will cease to be a friend

" Friend of a Friend " who sells-out to opposition , will become an enemy !

Like the annual ritual of the Jain Community ( Kshamapana ), saleable Dulhaas , will beg  Kshamaa ( forgiveness )  of everyone they abused during the past one year

They are chanting :

*  Let us forget the insults and forgive each other

*  Let us not be vindictive and let loose the " Caged Parrot " / ED  etc

*  Let us work as a team to quadruple our assets ala Jamaai-Raja

*  Let us reward the people who voted us to power , with "Broken Promises"

*  Let the  "  Winter-of-Conflict "  be over on 12th May

*  Let the  " Summer -of - Swindle "  begin on 16th May

PEOPLE  OF  INDIA ,

Is it any surprise that the " Greatest Circus on the Earth " is followed by the " Weirdest  Horse-trading on the Earth "  ?

And even if you don't like horses , don't insult other animals such as Dogs , Monkeys , Rats , Elephants etc , by naming this trade after them  !

You are damned if you vote : damned if you don't  !

   hemen  parekh  (  04  May  2014  /  Mumbai  )

  

What would they name it ?

Mahatma Gandhi named his autobiography ,

"  My  Experiments  with  Truth  "

If some of our politicians were to author their own biography ( - even if actually written by ghost writers ) , what would they name it  ?

Here is my guess  :

>  Man Mohan Singh...............     In Search of Silence

>  Sonia Gandhi....................     The Guns are Booming

>  Robert Vadra ( Kin-politico )..  From landless to landlord in 40 days

>  Suresh Kalmadi...................  The Game Theory

>  Pawan Bansal  ....................  Toofaan  Mail

>  Shriprakash Jaiswal.............   The Dark Matter Underground

>  Ashwini Kumar....................  Superior to Supreme

>  Kapil Sibal..........................  Two-timing Lawyer

>  P Chidambaram..................   Re-Count  to  Re-Instate

>  Kamal Nath ......................    A Road Less Travelled

>  Prafulla Patel.....................    Gone with the Wind

>  A Raja.............................     Last Come , First Served

>  Dayanidhi Maran.................  Quid- pro- Quo

>  Kanimozi...........................   Father Knows Best

>  Jayalalithaa........................  Heaven - for those who touch my feet

>  Mamta Banerjee................    The Triumph of the Lawless

>  Narendra Modi..................... Gujarat - that is India

>  Arvind Kejriwal.................... AK-49 and lesser Weapons


>  Mayawati......................     Maya and Maya-Jaal

Feel free to add to the list

In case they decide to come out with their biographies , one thing is certain

Royalty percentage will need to be the same - or more - than the percentages that they are used to get so far  !

And , the branding rights will be sold separately  !

What with the way current Lok Sabha elections are going , most of these Netas will have plenty of time on hand to pen their travails  !

Don't miss the next year's Jaipur Literature Festival 

*  hemen  parekh  (  30 April 2014 / Mumbai )

Bribing The Voters

Retired Chief Election Commissioner , S Y Quraishi , is all set to release his book ,

"  The Undocumented Wonder : The Making of the Great Indian Election "

Talking to DNA ( 15 April 2014 ) he listed some 40 different ways in which , Political Parties try to bribe voters

Some of these are :

>   Cash

>   Depositing money in voter's bank account

>   Liquor Bottles

>  LPG Cylinders

>  Free Rice / Food Packets

>  Payments of Electricity / Water Bills

>  Mass Feasts

>  Screening of films

>  Laptops / Tablets

>  Bicycles

>  Mangal Sutras

>  Gold Coins

>  Buffalos

>  Colour TV

>  Mixer - Grinder

>  Unemployment Allowance

>  Waiver of loans

>  Free Houses ......etc

Political Parties are happy that Mr Quarishi , being an honest / straight forward person , could imagine only 10 % of  the ways of bribing voters  !

And who cares that the EC has managed to seize a meager Rs 300 crores worth of cash so far during the current season , when all of the Rs 40,000 Crores worth of black money ( @ Rs 5 crores per candidate * 8,000 candidates ) , has escaped un-noticed ( looking other way ? ) by ,

>  Income Tax Department

>  Enforcement Directorate

>  CAG / CVC

>  Election Commission.....etc

Even the almighty Supreme Court seemed helpless , when it held recently :

"  Although promises of distribution of freebies may not technically constitute  corrupt practice , under the Representation of People Act , they vitiate the electoral process by influencing voters and disturbing the level playing between contesting parties "

And since there is no difference of opinion between the political parties when it comes to exploiting the poverty of 400 million BPL ( Below the Poverty Line ) voters , I would not be surprised if the next government at the Centre , introduces a  ,

 "  Bribe ( given ) Politically ( is ) Legal ( BPL ) Bill "

 in the very first session of 16th Lok Sabha  !

Expect it to be passed unanimously - and without a debate  !

Political parties are firm believer of what Kaushik Basu ( onetime advisor to PM ) once said ( - although in a different context ) ,

"  Giving bribe must not be treated as crime

   Ordinary citizens are forced to give bribes when they are denied , service that is legitimately due to them

If they are held innocent , they will come forward and report all instances when they were forced to bribe bureaucrats

Only bribe-takers must be punished  "

*  hemen parekh  (  28 April 2014 / Mumbai  )

  

As the Sun Rises

As the sun rises on 27th April , the epic battle of Lok Sabha elections will resume

In today's battle , what arrows will the mighty warriors shoot at each other ?

Here is my guess :

>  Narendra Modi will hurl the weapons of ,

    #   Corruption of UPA - 2

    #   Dubious land deals of Jijaji

    #   Declining  GDP .... etc

>   The  FAMILY  will retaliate with ,

     #   Snoop-gate

     #   Godhra riots

     #   Communal policies of BJP...  etc

>   Baba Ramdev

     #   Black Money

>   Sundry Netas

      #   Choicest Abuses ( Blunderer / Plunderer / Murderer ..etc )

By the time the Warriors retire to respective camps by sunset , in the PRECEEDING 24 HOURS , 4383 children ( below 5 years ) would have died due to starvation ( 1,600,000 per year )

But how can "  Reducible Deaths " be made , an Election Issue  ?

So , why talk about deaths due to malnutrition or for the following causes ?

>   Malaria.............................. 10,98,000

>   Cancer...............................   7,32,000

>   HIV..................................     6,83,200

>   Suicide .............................    4,88,000

>   Road Accidents  .................    3,66,000

>   Snake bites  ........................  7,32,000

Or  about millions of Indians dying  PREMATURE DEATH every year , due to :

>  Water and Air Pollution

>  Dowry ( Bride burning )

>  Child Labour

>  Occupational Hazards ( Chemical / Coal / Cement industries )

>  Miscarriage / Abortions / Pregnancy deaths

>  Smoking / Tobacco chewing

>  Junk Food / Adulterated Food

>  Daru ( liquor ) laced with ethyl alcohol

>  Fake Medicines............................etc

And how can you hold MPs / MLAs , responsible for keeping 28.7 Crores of Indians illiterate ( 37 % of World's illiterate ), 66 years after independence  ?

PEOPLE  OF  INDIA ,

What will kill you / me , is of no consequence to our politicians  !

They seem to be saying ,

"   What can we do  ?

   On the EVM of Yamaraaj , there is no NOTA button  !  "

*  hemen  parekh  (  27 April 2014 / Mumbai )

A Software Powerhouse ?

A   Software  Powerhouse  ?

Yesterday , when I went to polling booth , there was a chaos , with a number of people complaining that their names were missing from the Electoral Rolls ( Voter Lists )

As per news-reports , in Mumbai alone , some 50,000 people returned home without casting their votes - including Deepak Parekh  ! Altogether , names of some 15 lakh voters ( out of a total of 98 lakh ) were missing  !

Then there are some 300 million people who will simply won't walk down to the nearest polling booths , and wait for 1 hour to cast their votes ( - assuming that some 40 % of the 814 million eligible voters do not exercise their right to vote )

WHY  ?

Going out to vote is becoming a big hassle

COULD  IT  BE  OTHERWISE  ?

Sure , if Central Government and the Election Commission care to implement my suggestion for developing a mobile App for voting .  I called it , VotesApp

 see .. hemenparekh.in/2013/08/votesapp.html  

Or , just type in Google , " VotesApp "

HOW  WILL  IT  HELP  ?

>  No need for 930,000 polling booths / EVMs / Ink / Papers etc

    Every voter's own mobile becomes a miniature EVM  !

    Any registered Voter can vote from anywhere in the World  !

>  Nor any need to deploy 1,100,000 people to conduct the polls

>  No need for millions of Police / Military personnel

>  No need for months of advance preparations, across entire country

>  Voting can be completed in just ONE day - instead of over 6 weeks -

    and results can be declared next day  !

>  Voting could be 95 % or more  !

>  No worry for booth-capture

>  No  bogus voting ( Bio-metric ID from built-in camera )

>  No duplicate voting ( Self-destruct after single usage )

>  No worry for any terrorist attacks

>  Enormous saving of time for Voters

>  No need to declare a public holiday - costing thousands of crores

     worth of production

>  Central Government will save, at least , Rs 2,000 Crores .

     If business-friendly BJP government comes to power , it would not

    hesitate to earn Rs 20,000 crores , by enabling 15 million Indian

    businesses to advertise to 814 million voters , thru this mobile VotesApp -

    sharply targeting by Gender / Age / Marital Status / City / Street /

    Education / Income Tax paid / Employed or Jobless ..etc

>  No need for Central Government to stop taking even routine decisions

If a tiny country like Estonia ( population 1.6 million ) can elect its Members of Parliament thru a VotesApp type mobile App , why can't we  ?

Already 900+ million Indians have mobiles - all of which , will soon become Smart Phones

And we call our country , a " Software Powerhouse "  !

*   hemen  parekh  ( 25 April 2014 / Mumbai )