DO NOT BLAME JOBSEEKERS ONLY!

26 Aug 2010

DO NOT BLAME JOBSEEKERS ONLY!

A survey ( Aug. 2010 ) of 2,000 people by Chartered Insurance Institute ( Britain ), revealed following :

·              Average British tells a lie 657 times a year.

·              For this dishonesty, he / she blames the bankers and the members of Parliament.

·              80 % of those surveyed, admitted that chronic lying has become a part of their daily life.

·              90 % of those surveyed, blamed internet and mobile phones for facilitating lying.

So, why single out 4.5 million British unemployed jobseekers for dressing-up their resumes a little bit ?

Around the world, desperate jobless are doing the same !

  

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED ARE NOT FLYING ANYWHERE !

25 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED ARE NOT FLYING ANYWHERE !

Makato Watanabe and Marc Moller ( Japanese Economists ) have come up with the following formula to enable you to book the cheapest holiday flight :

A  =  gUG + min { ( k-g ) ( 1-g ) ( 1-r ) }

Translated in plain English :

“ Buy tickets exactly eight weeks in advance and book in the afternoon “

But unemployed jobseekers are on a perpetual holiday – at home.

They are not flying anywhere !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

RUBIK CUBE

24 Aug 2010

RUBIK CUBE

                     Jobseekers , persistence pays !

Rubik Cube ( invented by Hungarian Prof. Erno Rubik ) sold 350 million pieces in 34 years since its invention in 1974.

With 9 colored squares on each side, how many unique permutations can you make with a Rubik cube?

Ans :    43,252,003,274,489,856,000

And in how many "moves" can you make all those permutations ?

Google researchers used their powerful computers to come-up with answer :

20    moves

Why can't they figure out ?

·     how many interviews an unemployed will need to attend before getting first job offer ?

·     how many resumes will need be sent to get first interview-call ?

with regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

UNEMPLOYMENT : AN UNSOLVED RIDDLE !

21 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYMENT : AN UNSOLVED RIDDLE !

Vinay Deolalikar, who works at the research arm of Hewlett-Packard in Palo Alto, California, believes he has solved the math's riddle of

                              P  Vs.  NP
Where

P refers to problems whose solutions are easy to find and verify

NP refers to problems whose solutions are almost impossible to find but easy to verify

But around the world, jobseekers are struggling to solve the riddle of

                             JS  >( greater than ) JV
Where

JS refers to unemployed jobseekers

JV refers to available job vacancies

Is joblessness an economic riddle or a social riddle ?

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

19 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED, CAST YOUR NET WIDE !

Mumbai Mirror ( Aug. 11, 2010 ) reports :

Want a one year-long working holiday visa for Adelaide (South Australia) ?

You can, provided you are willing to

·        Collect Kangaroo dung

·        Catch Koala bears

·        Tag sharks

·        Remodel penguin homes

·        Judge beach babes competition

Officials from South Australia are touring Britain to get 18 to 30-year-olds to apply for working holiday visas.

UK, with just 1/4th the size of South Australia and 4.5 million unemployed (roughly 3 times the entire population of South Australia), should have thousands of takers for judging beach babes !

Jobseekers, make sure your resume lists all the babes you have judged in the past ! Only don't show it to your girlfriend / wife !

  

Hemen  Parekh

GLOBAL WARNING ?

18 Aug 2010

Who is to be blamed for global warming ?

An income / expenditure survey of 63,000 Indian households ( selected from an initial listing of 450,000 households ) found :

·         45 % of the Indian population earn less than Rs.20 per day ( less than US $ 0.50 )

That is nearly 500 million people !

If they cut down trees for firewood to cook their 4 teaspoons of rice , could you blame them for global warming ?

[ source : Interview with Rajesh Shukla – author : How India Earns, Spends and Saves : Times of India / Aug 11,2010 ]

Hemen  Parekh

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

16 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED HAVE NO ANSWERS !

Here is a new set of questions being asked these days, to employees who resign :

·       What could have been done to prevent the situation which led you to leave ?

·       What extra responsibility would you have welcomed that you were not given ?

·       If you are the head, then what are the top 5 priority changes that you would like to change ?

·       How this organization should be restructured according to you ?

·       Do you think you would have performed in a rival firm ?

Will HR Managers list the exit interview questions they ask when they sack / layoff / retrench employees ?  Do these include :

·       How do you plan to feed your wife / kids ?

·       Once you are evicted from your apartment ( for not paying rent ),which pavement do you plan to sleep on ?

·       In front of which soup-kitchen do you plan to queue-up ?

·       From which flea-market will you shoplift " used " clothes ?

Thank god there are no exit interviews for sacked employees ! They would have no answers !

With regards

HEMEN  PAREKH

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

13 Aug 2010

AKNOWLEDGEMENT

Thank you for submitting your resume on our site

www.CustomizeResume.com

(Do share your discovery with your friends. They will thank you !)

While you are waiting for some Recruiter to search your

 Resume on our site, how about being  PRO-ACTIVE  and

Blast  Your  Resume   ?

Not because it is FREE.

But because we deliver your resume to :

·           30,400 Companies in  20  countries

·           5,674  Recruitment Agencies in  14  countries

And you can blast it in stages, over a period of days / weeks / months.

Every time you return for blasting, we will show you

·           to whom you have blasted so far

·           when did you blast ( date )

   

so, no risk of duplication / embarrassment  !

I wish you Good Luck .

Hemen Parekh

UNEMPLOYED WATCH-OUT!

10 Aug 2010

UNEMPLOYED WATCH-OUT!

Times OF India (Aug. 05, 2010) reports:

Reuters / Ipsol poll on " business attire ", conducted amongst  12,500 executives in 24 countries, found:

How many wear smart dresses to work?

INDIANS TOP SMART POLL

But this is when you already have a job !

My advice to jobseekers everywhere, about to appear for a job-interview:

“Just don’t take a risk. Dress your best. Look smarter than all other applicants waiting to be interviewed. It will boost your confidence. Everything else being equal between two finalists, the better dressed candidate will walk away with a job offer !”

Hemen Parekh

JOBSEEKERS ARE CLUELESS!

7 Aug 2010

JOBSEEKERS ARE CLUELESS!

Times of India (July 20, 2010) reports:

·             In Germany, resumes generally include a photograph and information considered taboo for employers in many countries, such as, date of birth, marital status and nationality.

·             A 2010 study by the private Bonn-based Institute for the Study of Labor showed rampant bias in hiring.

·             This prompted the German Anti-Discrimination Agency to sponsor a voluntary program under which company recruiters will process only "Blind" resumes that remove any reference to ethnic background or other personal information irrelevant to job performance.

·             Procter and Gamble and L'Oreal who have joined this program say the idea is to show to other recruiters what they were sacrificing with their prejudices.

No doubt a welcome beginning, but the unemployed around the world just do not want to risk their resumes getting summarily rejected because these contain "insufficient" information!

As long as job advertisements fail to clearly spell-out what information is "relevant" and what is "taboo", jobseekers around the world would continue to err on the safe side! If employers continue to remain “ vague “- on purpose – they run the risk of being “legislated “!

Hemen  Parekh