Hi Friends,

Even as I launch this today ( my 80th Birthday ), I realize that there is yet so much to say and do. There is just no time to look back, no time to wonder,"Will anyone read these pages?"

With regards,
Hemen Parekh
27 June 2013

Now as I approach my 90th birthday ( 27 June 2023 ) , I invite you to visit my Digital Avatar ( www.hemenparekh.ai ) – and continue chatting with me , even when I am no more here physically

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Saturday, 14 February 2026

When Students Stop Caring

When Students Stop Caring

A quiet emergency: what I learned reading the headlines

I write this as someone who has long urged better mental-health systems for young people. Recent reporting about an Indian-origin postgraduate student found dead in the United States has left me troubled — not because of unanswered questions about cause, but because of the small warning signs that friends later said were visible and ignored.

Here are the verified facts, stated carefully: local police recovered the student’s body from a lake near a university campus, and the Indian consulate confirmed it is assisting the family and coordinating with local authorities. University and local law-enforcement statements are part of media reports, and medical and investigative procedures are ongoing. I will not speculate about cause; investigators are best placed to determine that, and the public record should follow their findings according to police and the Consulate, as reported by Times of India and Hindustan Times [https://www.hindustantimes.com/trending/us/saketh-sreenivasaiah-what-indian-student-found-dead-in-us-told-roommate-baneet-singh-days-before-disappearance-101771125635652.html).

What friends reported — and why that matters

Friends and a roommate later described worrying changes: withdrawing from social life, eating little, and making remarks that they now see as signs of deep indifference. One close peer wrote in a public post that the student had said, “I’ve stopped caring… I don’t care about anything,” and friends later reflected that they had laughed off the comment at the time. Journalistic accounts quote those posts and conversations; these firsthand recollections are powerful because they show how small behaviors can be missed until it’s too late.

Why international-student contexts intensify the risk

International students face layers of stress that raise vulnerability:

  • Distance from family and the loss of immediate social safety nets.
  • Financial and visa pressures tied to jobs, stipends, or loans.
  • Cultural stigma around asking for psychological help.
  • New responsibilities and academic intensity in unfamiliar systems.

These factors do not cause tragedy by themselves, but they make warning signs harder to spot and responses harder to deliver. In earlier writing, I argued for systemic supports—scalable helplines, mandatory counselling access in learning institutions, and digital listening tools to bridge shortages of trained professionals see my earlier note to policy-makers about mental-health rules and remote listening models. That continuity matters now.

Practical signs friends can watch for

If you are close to someone who seems different, watch for real changes in behaviour over days or weeks:

  • Major changes in sleep or appetite (sleeping or not sleeping at all, eating far less).
  • Withdrawal from once-enjoyed activities and social contact.
  • Expressions of hopelessness, indifference, or talk about being a burden.
  • Reckless or uncharacteristic behavior (substance misuse, giving away prized items).

If you notice these signs, ask directly and kindly: "Are you thinking that life isn’t worth it?" Research shows direct, nonjudgmental questions create openings for honest answers.

How to respond in the moment

  • Stay present. Listen without minimizing feelings. Statements like “I hear you — I’m here” matter.
  • Remove immediate means of harm when possible, and never leave a highly distressed person alone.
  • Encourage professional help and offer to accompany them to campus counselling or emergency services.
  • If there is acute danger, call local emergency services (911 in the U.S.) or take them to the nearest emergency department.

Resources and who to contact

  • University counselling centres: almost every campus has free or low-cost services for enrolled students — call or visit their website to find emergency contacts.
  • U.S. national helpline: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) — available 24/7.
  • Indian diplomatic assistance: the Consulate/Embassy will work with local authorities to help families of nationals abroad; media reports cite that consular officers were in contact with family members while investigations proceeded.

A plea for quieter courage

What the media reports make clear is not just the shock of a sudden death, but the heartbreak of hindsight. We are often too busy to notice the smallest shifts in the people around us. Indifference — the slow fading of care — can be as lethal as a dramatic crisis.

If you are reading this and feel unsettled, reach out to someone you trust or to a professional. If you’re a friend of someone who seems to be withdrawing, don’t wait for proof of crisis: ask, listen, and help them find support.

I will continue to advocate for policy and practical interventions that make help accessible — tele-counselling hubs, mandatory student mental-health services, and the digital tools that can extend human care at scale. As we mourn and learn, let us also act.

Connect with me


Regards,
Hemen Parekh


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